You’re so stuck in the past that you’ve lost sight of what is in the present. Stop living in the past. Whatever happened, happened. Reliving it in your head isn’t going change anything. It’s not going to make life any better. Don’t think that bringing up the past would regain my trust cuz its not. Its just pitiful.
I’m trying hard not to break down but it seems to not be working out for me. Every once in a while, I feel like falling apart. So many things are hitting me all at the same time. I have to deal with mistakes, misfortunes, failure, and loss. So many negative things just pouring in and smacking me hard on the face. I’m not good at handling these things. I’m scared and confused. I can’t handle this anymore. For once can’t something good come to my life. I’ve suffered way too long and always having to pretend I’m happy. Putting that fake smile on my face, it’s just too much. I’ve always been good at hiding my emotions but now I’m just tired. For once I want to be truly happy rather than pretending to be.
Something happened last night and it totally ruined my new year. They say that whatever happens to you on the 1st would reflect the rest of your year. Well that’s just great. Last night also had me thinking about myself. I’m a very self-restrained person. Obviously I’m no open book. I don’t like dumping all my issues on others. They have their own problems to worry about. I just keep them bottle inside and cry myself to sleep at night. Crying seem to be the only thing I can do. But being the distant person I am those around me starts to drift away. People I’ve met in my life comes and go. Those that thinks they know me, really doesn’t know me. I do regret not keeping some of those that have entered my life. I really want to have someone in my life that I can share everything with, someone who is willing to take all my shit and would never leave me, just one person. That’s really not too much to ask.
